whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
