so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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