it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
