sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
