lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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