I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
