Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
