no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
did you just send me my own nude
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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