it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
