I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
