THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
