hotel room ftw
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize