my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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