sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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