Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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