what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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