The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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