Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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