the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
