i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
