why didn't you poke me back
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
