hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
