I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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