You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I want to stick my p in your. b.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
