he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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