She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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