why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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