i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
