i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
