we're blogging at a bar
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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