The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
