Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
