he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
My cat gives me a boner
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
