She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
