Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
That's intense
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
