A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
