for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
dude. I can hear the air.
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