There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
