He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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