Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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