he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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