were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
