Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
this hospital has no fireball
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Randomize
