yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
