I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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