New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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