evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
