hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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