I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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