Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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