Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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