Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
